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Why Work With a Life Coach?

7/21/2014

32 Comments

 
If you go into a bookstore, or on a e-commerce site that sells books, you'll notice that the self-help section is huge. Really HUGE. It seems like we want to improve so many areas of our lives - our size and appearance, our love life, our business and work lives, our mental health, and so many others. There are self-improvement programs you can buy online, and the books are full of ideas that you can use and apply to help improve your life. However, when we buy these programs or try these techniques, many times they don't seem to work - why is that?

There are a few reasons that might explain this. One factor is that our time and energy is limited. We get caught up in work and work issues, daily hassles like cooking and paying bills, family responsibilities... If you think about it, you'll find there are many, many reasons that we don't accomplish all the self-help and self-enhancement programs we purchase. All of these activities take time, and they take energy. When we do have a few minutes for leisure, many times we want to do something else. It's understandable - if something feels like too much work, we tend to avoid doing it. 

Another factor might be lack of support. We know that when people have support, they're more likely to make changes and they're more likely to stick to them. Beginning an exercise program is a great example: You're way more likely to keep moving and exercising when you have someone there with you. They support you, and to some extent, keep you accountable. Your coach is there to mentor you and to cheer you along as you creat the life you want to have.

Accountability is the third factor I want to mention. I'm not thinking about accountability in a pressurized "have to" sense. Rather, I am suggesting that having another person to work with who knows your goals, your struggles, and your strengths can be an amazing support for you as you work to reach those goals and change your life! 

I love the word "coach" - it has such a positive connotation. Coaches share their knowledge with you, support you as you challenge yourself to reach goals (and challenge you themselves by nudging you toward your goals), and celebrate progress and life changes as they happen. It's a life-affirming, positive, and healthy profession.

Ok, so what are the disadvantages of working with a coach?

So - downsides: While there aren't too many, the ones that are there can be pretty significant. First, if you need therapeutic help or support, your life coach will need to refer you to a therapist. Many life coaches (myself included) will continue to support you and stay in contact with you while you are in therapy as long as the therapist agrees. When you work with a life coach who is also a therapist, your coach can't become your therapist - it's mixing up two different needs and the risk is that neither one will be met and you will be hurt in the process. So, if your coach is a therapist, you will still be referred but your coach will likely have very good contacts within the therapeutic community. While the distinction between coaching and therapy can get pretty confusing (see the previous post), one thing is clear: coaches cannot and should not do therapy, especially with the same client even if they are trained to do therapy.

A second downside is that because coaching has no oversight, you need to do more homework in finding a good, reputable coach. There are so many coaches out there, in so many sub-specialties, that it can be hard to know where to turn. So, here are some ideas: Look for certification with ICF (International Coaching Federation) or in-depth training resulting in an LPC, Psy.D., D.M.H., or Ph.D. These people have been through some rigorous and thorough training and know what they're doing. If you go with someone in the therapeutic realm who also coaches, look for licensure. Licensure means that the professional is regulated by the state licensing boards, who are there to ensure your safety. Licensing boards take complaints and enforce ethical and legal standards.

The ICF has done a lot of work to help standardize coaching. They have a code of ethics (http://coachfederation.org/about/ethics.aspx?ItemNumber=854&RDtoken=7605&userID=), and have worked toward setting standards for program accreditation and coach certification. They have a lot of information on their web page (http://www.coachfederation.org/) about what coaching is and isn't, how to find a coach, and information about how to hire a coach. (They do use the "therapy addresses the past and coaching addresses the future" idea, so even there read critically. Do that anyway, though!)

And the advantages? How will this help me?

Overall, I think the benefits outweigh the costs. Coaching can be a wonderful, amazing experience and it can help you change your life in ways you never imagined. So, what are the advantages?

First, you learn about yourself. Your growth and your goals are the reason you're there and you get to focus on your own well-being and creating the life you want. Coaching activities and assignments are designed to help you achieve - pure and simple. You get to define the goals. Coaching is something that encourages you to get to know yourself: strengths and how to use them, weaknesses and how to overcome them. You'll develop affirmations, and more importantly, learn how to use them to help you get to where you want to be.

Second, you will have someone dedicated to helping you achieve those goals. This person is your cheerleader and your biggest fan. S/he can support you and listen and help you move in the direction you want to go. Coaching is designed to be supportive and life-enhancing.

Third, you will get some accountability. If you're really going to make these changes, it helps to have someone there who knows about it and wants you to succeed. On the ICF website, there is a FAQ for people interested in having a coach. They write:
What does coaching ask of an individual? To be successful, coaching asks certain things, all of which begin with intention. Additionally, clients should:

  • Focus on one's self, the tough questions, the hard truths and one's success.
  • Observe the behaviors and communications of others.
  • Listen to one's intuition, assumptions, judgments, and to the way one sounds when one speaks
  • Challenge existing attitudes, beliefs and behaviors and develop new ones that serve one's goals in a superior way
  • Leverage personal strengths and overcome limitations to develop a winning style
  • Take decisive actions, however uncomfortable and in spite of personal insecurities, to reach for the extraordinary
  • Show compassion for one's self while learning new behaviors and experiencing setbacks, and to show that compassion for others as they do the same
  • Commit to not take one's self so seriously, using humor to lighten and brighten any situation
  • Maintain composure in the face of disappointment and unmet expectations, avoiding emotional reactivity
  • Have the courage to reach for more than before while engaging in continual self examination without fear
  • (http://www.coachfederation.org/need/landing.cfm?ItemNumber=978&navItemNumber=567)
These are some pretty high expectations - having a supportive person who challenges you to be your best possible self and holds you to that is one of the greatest gifts there is. It begins with intention, and holding you responsible for your growth helps you move from intention to action, and from action to lasting change.

So, should you do it? You're the only one who can answer that. Personally, I think it's a fantastic opportunity to prioritize your own growth and goals. 

What do I do next?

If you decide to work with a coach, there are some things you can do to maximize your chances of having a good experience. First, check out the coach. Look online - does s/he have a web page? Do they talk about training, interests, or topics of interest? Are they certified or (if a mental health professional) licensed? Next, when/if you call a coach or coaches, remember you are interviewing them. Ask questions, talk to them about their approach and find out how they work. Third, if you decide to hire a coach, make sure you have the agreement in writing. Ask about number and frequency of sessions, or duration of coaching. How will your sessions work - will they be face-to-face, over the phone, or via Skype? Make sure you have the fees clear, and specify how you will know you've made progress. Ask about how progress will be measured, and how you'll be able to reach your coach.

Please note: The information and content of this blog are not meant to constitute therapy. If you are in need of help or think you'd like to talk to a counselor or psychologist, there are many available to help. If you are in an emergency or life-threatening crisis situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. You're not alone, and there are people who want to help. 

If you'd like to contact me, please call me at (970) 776-6043 or send me email at thepowerofeachother@outlook.com .


© 2014 Dr. Laura Burlingame-Lee, Ph.D.
32 Comments
Zachary Tomlinson link
7/2/2020 07:12:30 am

Thanks for helping me understand the benefits of talking to a life coach. My friend saw a flyer regarding a retirement life coach, and this got him curious. I find it amazing to learn that a life coach can help a person discover their path along with developing a strategy on how to reach their goals. I'll share this with him and suggest that he consider hiring one since he's in at a loss on what he wants to do in life as of the moment.

Reply
www.shannon-conway.com link
8/5/2020 02:53:27 am

I really enjoyed your post. If anyone staring a new business then Social Media will be a great way to attract new customers.

Reply
MindWealth Inc link
10/15/2020 12:56:54 am

Awesome, Thank You For Sharing

Reply
Brittany | SimplyB link
12/31/2020 03:44:52 am

Nice Post

Reply
Adam Golightly link
1/14/2021 12:58:22 pm

My sister has been having a really hard time doing things in her life because she doesn't have a lot of motivation right now. She would really like to get some coaching from a professional, in order to help her be more productive. I liked what you said about how they can help her focus on her well being, and creating the life she wants with the right goals.

Reply
Eli Richardson link
1/26/2021 01:19:48 pm

I'm glad you mentioned how a coach supports you and pushes you to improve yourself. In my girlfriend's workplace, they're worried about their efficiency levels getting lower, and they're thinking about how to fix that. In my personal opinion, hiring a coach to guide you could be a great business strategy to improve your employee's performance. I think this could be a good option for my girlfriend's company. I appreciate your information about the advantages of hiring a life coach.

Reply
Kristofer Van Wagner link
2/5/2021 02:59:36 pm

I am grateful that this post stressed that working with a life improvement coach can help us improve our life. The other day my sister shared she would like to work with a coach to help her manage her stress better. I will definitely recommend her to proceed with hiring a coach.

Reply
Reese Evans link
2/8/2021 11:44:05 pm

Thanks, I'm really glad to see this post. Life coach
Can help improve our lives.

Reply
Jonathan Hansen link
3/1/2021 10:05:30 am

It's valuable that you point that working with a life coach can give you the accountability that you need to reach your goals. I have a goal to get a college degree within two years, so I'm considering hiring a life coach. I'm going to search for a good provider of life coaching services that I can hire.

Reply
Nelson Fogerty link
3/2/2021 11:11:31 am

It's great that you elaborate on how life coaching can help you achieve your goals. I have had a difficult time achieving my goals because of my ADHD, so I'm considering hiring a life coach to help me. I'm going to search for a good provider of life coaching services that specializes in helping people with ADHD.

Reply
Taylor Hicken link
3/10/2021 06:14:00 pm

Thank you for sharing that coaching can be beneficial as you get to change your life in ways you could never imagine. My sister just mentioned the other day that she is thinking of improving herself so she will be able to lead a happier life since she has been feeling down about herself lately. I will suggest to her looking for a reliable personal coach who can help her to improve herself.

Reply
Chris Pederson link
5/3/2021 02:19:39 pm

It's good to know that the costs of hiring a coach are outweighed by the benefits. My brother thinks that I should just figure out everything on my own. However, I see hiring a coach as an opportunity to make improvements so I'm glad you agree with me.

Reply
kate hansen link
6/2/2021 01:02:36 pm

I loved how you mentioned that it can help you with changing your life. My sister was at my house last night, and she was telling me about how she has been thinking about working with a health coach and wanted to learn more about the benefits. I'll make sure to pass this information along to her so that she can know the benefits of working with a health coach.

Reply
veronica
6/11/2021 09:40:40 pm

Life and existence have always been intertwined; without the latter, life cannot happen.

Reply
Kristofer Van Wagner link
6/22/2021 01:42:30 pm

My sister mentioned that she is looking to make some life changes as she would like to lead a healthier and happier life. I like that this post pointed out that sometimes working with a life counselor can help us in achieving our goals. I am planning to see my sister later and I will propose the idea to her to see if she is open to hiring a counselor.

Reply
beverly minyard link
7/2/2021 08:32:57 am

I like that you said that the stuff life coaches have you do is designed to help you succeed! My sister got a life coach and complained because it felt like he was having her do homework. If I send her this article maybe she will realize that he was probably doing that because it was the best way to help her!

Reply
Michael link
7/13/2021 09:15:58 am

Very Informative post. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us.
<b><a><a href="https://www.michellemehta.com/" title= "Teen counselor California">Teen counselor California</a></b>

Reply
Taylor Hicken link
7/28/2021 09:42:13 pm

I liked it when you shared that it is great to find a reliable life coach who will support, listen and help you move in the direction you want to go. My friend just mentioned the other day that she is worried about her husband who has been dealing with some issues after he lost his job last month. I will suggest to him looking for a reliable life coach who can help with his situation.

Reply
Chance Cook link
8/3/2021 11:48:41 am

I don't mind having to do homework to find a good coach. That helps me know that I made the right decision. Just picking one easily would make me question how well they do their job the whole time.

Reply
Reese Evans link
8/7/2021 02:48:14 am

Thank you very much for this beautiful article. This is really great & helpful. I enjoyed reading it. But you should use more image to make the article more attractive. Otherwise the article is good.

Reply
Charlotte Fleet link
8/25/2021 02:24:58 pm

Thank you for explaining the various benefits of working with a life coach. It is great to know that life coaching can help you learn more about yourself. I will have to look into hiring a life coach.

Reply
Taylor Scrybe
9/6/2021 10:15:43 pm

Love this article Dr. Laura! It’s just fantastic to have someone in your corner. I was experiencing a few setbacks and my Mentor (who I found on Lisnic.com) sat down with me to devise a whole new success strategy, I felt so much better afterwards.

Reply
Taylor link
9/22/2021 09:25:43 pm

I’m glad to hear you are promoting more life coaching! I’ve actually embarked on something similar myself with a fantastic Mentor from Lisnic.com and I’m so excited to see where it takes me.

Reply
Olivia Smart link
10/28/2021 11:44:28 am

Thank you for explaining why you should work with a life coach. My friend wants to be able to utilize more of her day. I'll be sure to talk to her about this and see if it's something she'd like to try.

Reply
John Carston link
12/16/2021 03:55:31 pm

I like how you mentioned that a personal coach can help you with personal strengths. My cousin mentioned to me last night that he wants to pursue his career being a life coach and asked me if I have any idea what is the best option to do to have a certification. Thanks to this informative article and I'll be sure to tell him that it will be much better if he consults a well-known life coaching certification as they can answer all his inquiries and will guide you throughout the process.

Reply
Braden Bills link
12/27/2021 07:00:33 am

I don't know what to do for my life, and I'm not sure what to do about it. It makes sense that I would want to get a lifestyle coach to help me out with this. That seems like a good way to ensure that I know what to do for myself.

Reply
teen counselor link
12/31/2021 03:05:24 am

Very Informative post. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us.
<b><a><a href="https://www.michellemehta.com/" title= "Teen Coach California">Teen Coach California</a></b>

Reply
Victoria Addington link
3/25/2022 10:32:36 am

You made a good point when you discussed that a life coach can be a good support system since they understand your goals and struggles. My friend wants to live a better life and conquer her mental struggles. I should advise her to try online life coaching since she needs amazing support.

Reply
Afton Jackson link
6/23/2022 03:33:16 pm

Learning about one's self and the goals they may have in life sounds really important for some people. My sister, in particular, has been having some problems with finding what she wants to do in life, and I really want to do whatever I can for her. This definitely seems like it'll benefit her, so I'll help her talk to a life coach in the area so she can get some advice.

Reply
Conrad O'Connor link
8/18/2022 01:00:26 pm

It's cool that you point out that having a life coach can help provide you with accountability and support as you strive to meet your goals. My goals for this year are to start exercising every day and get promoted at work, so I'm thinking about hiring a life coach to help me this week. I'm going to search for a good provider of life coaching services in my area that I can hire.

Reply
Mia Evans link
10/18/2022 02:40:59 am

I love that you talked about how having a coach would help you learn and have support to reach your goals. I actually plan to book a life coach for myself this weekend if I can find one that has a good reputation. It will be helpful for me to know how I can navigate single parenthood, because my partner has left me and our child for another.

Reply
akanksha kharat link
1/7/2023 03:22:17 am

Thank you for sharing this interesting and well-explained article. Don't forget to visit https://thrivingpad.com/ for more information.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Laura Burlingame-Lee:

    I am someone who thoroughly loves life and believes in the power we have to help each other. I think that having a hot cup of tea, a good book, and a warm, purring kitty are some of the most soothing experiences available in life, and loving my family, hearing the sound of children laughing, feeling rain on my skin, and smelling the salt air by the ocean are some of the best possible things in life! 

    I believe we all have inner wisdom, and that learning to listen to it is one of the hardest and most rewarding things we can do. I believe we all have gifts and talents to share, and that we have the opportunity every day to learn something new. We learn, we grow, and we shine!


    I'd love to hear from you!

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