What Problems Might Come Up?
What problems might come up in DBT?
One problem that might come up in a skills group is that you might not like or get along with other group members. When you first start a group, most people are strangers to you. It's normal to feel nervous. If there is a conflict that comes up in group, you might feel intimidated, scared, defensive, or angry. If this does happen, it is very important to talk to the group leaders and your individual therapist. Ideally, they can coach you in being effective for yourself. Being effective might mean being assertive and saying that you were hurt. It might mean apologizing for an outburst. However, it might also mean that you have the opportunity to be supportive for another group member in pain or experiencing a situation similar to yours.
Another problem that comes up often is related to the diary cards. Honestly, most people don't like to do the diary cards. However, it is really important to fill them out. This is a requirement for continuing in the group, and if a member repeatedly doesn't do the diary cards, then the leaders and individual therapist will need to discuss whether or not the member really wants to stay in the group. If you want DBT to work for you, you have to be willing to put in the work to help yourself.
Problems sometimes come up around finishing the homework too. Again, "doing homework" sometimes just doesn't feel that good. However, there are good reasons for giving homework in DBT. These homework assignments provide you an opportunity to practice skills in real life or analyze situations where you might have experienced trouble in the past. They help you in being more effective with yourself and your emotions, your relationships, and the situations you face.
In the skills training groups, another problem that tends to arise is related to the structure of the group. Sometimes, when people hear "therapy group" or "group therapy," they picture people sitting in a circle and talking about or processing their problems. While there is some of that in DBT skills training, the group is really more like a classroom experience. There is a logical structure to the group that includes a chunk of time for processing (with the diary cards) and another related to teaching new skills (like you would see in a class.) This structure is sometimes confusing and may cause anxiety for some people. Before you begin DBT therapy, it would be wise to meet the group leaders and talk about what you can expect in their groups.
Forming relationships with others or boundary issues may also be a problem in the group. In many groups, you'll find that there is one or two people that either don't know how to respect boundaries or don't choose to respect them. This problem is found not just in therapy groups, but classrooms, meetings and other kinds of groups, too. If you feel that a group member is violating your boundaries, being inappropriate, being controlling, dominating the group dynamic, or engaging in other boundary issues, talk to your group leaders. Chances are that they have noticed too, and either are taking action or have already taken some action. One thing to remember is that it's your group as well as others, and the leaders are there to keep it balanced and safe for everyone. If something happens away from group or out of the leaders' awareness, please let them know immediately. Your safety and the safety of all the group members is their prime concern.
Finally, some people have difficulty with the pace or material of the group. They might experience it as being too slow or too fast, or they may have difficulty understanding the concepts or skills. If this is the case, it is critically important to talk to the group leaders or your individual therapist. If you don't say something, we don't know that there is a problem and can't help you find a solution. If we know what the problem is, we can help you figure out a way to get your needs met - maybe an extra session with your therapist to go over the material again, or talking to the leaders about working through frustration if the group seems too slow.
The most important part in solving or working with any of these problems is to communicate: Talk to your individual therapist, your group leaders and/or the other group members so that you can maximize your chances of having your needs met.
One problem that might come up in a skills group is that you might not like or get along with other group members. When you first start a group, most people are strangers to you. It's normal to feel nervous. If there is a conflict that comes up in group, you might feel intimidated, scared, defensive, or angry. If this does happen, it is very important to talk to the group leaders and your individual therapist. Ideally, they can coach you in being effective for yourself. Being effective might mean being assertive and saying that you were hurt. It might mean apologizing for an outburst. However, it might also mean that you have the opportunity to be supportive for another group member in pain or experiencing a situation similar to yours.
Another problem that comes up often is related to the diary cards. Honestly, most people don't like to do the diary cards. However, it is really important to fill them out. This is a requirement for continuing in the group, and if a member repeatedly doesn't do the diary cards, then the leaders and individual therapist will need to discuss whether or not the member really wants to stay in the group. If you want DBT to work for you, you have to be willing to put in the work to help yourself.
Problems sometimes come up around finishing the homework too. Again, "doing homework" sometimes just doesn't feel that good. However, there are good reasons for giving homework in DBT. These homework assignments provide you an opportunity to practice skills in real life or analyze situations where you might have experienced trouble in the past. They help you in being more effective with yourself and your emotions, your relationships, and the situations you face.
In the skills training groups, another problem that tends to arise is related to the structure of the group. Sometimes, when people hear "therapy group" or "group therapy," they picture people sitting in a circle and talking about or processing their problems. While there is some of that in DBT skills training, the group is really more like a classroom experience. There is a logical structure to the group that includes a chunk of time for processing (with the diary cards) and another related to teaching new skills (like you would see in a class.) This structure is sometimes confusing and may cause anxiety for some people. Before you begin DBT therapy, it would be wise to meet the group leaders and talk about what you can expect in their groups.
Forming relationships with others or boundary issues may also be a problem in the group. In many groups, you'll find that there is one or two people that either don't know how to respect boundaries or don't choose to respect them. This problem is found not just in therapy groups, but classrooms, meetings and other kinds of groups, too. If you feel that a group member is violating your boundaries, being inappropriate, being controlling, dominating the group dynamic, or engaging in other boundary issues, talk to your group leaders. Chances are that they have noticed too, and either are taking action or have already taken some action. One thing to remember is that it's your group as well as others, and the leaders are there to keep it balanced and safe for everyone. If something happens away from group or out of the leaders' awareness, please let them know immediately. Your safety and the safety of all the group members is their prime concern.
Finally, some people have difficulty with the pace or material of the group. They might experience it as being too slow or too fast, or they may have difficulty understanding the concepts or skills. If this is the case, it is critically important to talk to the group leaders or your individual therapist. If you don't say something, we don't know that there is a problem and can't help you find a solution. If we know what the problem is, we can help you figure out a way to get your needs met - maybe an extra session with your therapist to go over the material again, or talking to the leaders about working through frustration if the group seems too slow.
The most important part in solving or working with any of these problems is to communicate: Talk to your individual therapist, your group leaders and/or the other group members so that you can maximize your chances of having your needs met.