One of my relatively new responsibilities in my job is helping people with insomnia. I use a modality called "CBT-I" or cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia for the most part, but occasionally I get to work with people on dreams, especially when they're trauma-related. I love doing this work as it tends to be rich, satisfying, and full of meaning for the people I work with. For nightmares, we use a technique called "image rehearsal therapy," which Marsha Lineman summarized in her "Nightmare Protocol" in the Emotion Regulation section of 2nd edition DBT. The basic idea is that you pick a nightmare with a recurring story or theme, and write it down in as much detail as you can muster. You then write an alternate ending to the dream, one in which you deliberately pick an ending that either leaves you in control, overcoming the fear or problem, or trumping over the fear. You then rehearse the dream with the new ending every day, and practice relaxation strategies and stress management techniques both before the rehearsal and after. With enough practice and time, your subconscious integrates the new information and you ideally both change the narrative of the dream and reduce the hold that fear or trauma has over you.
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I have to admit, I love the chance to do this work. I find working with dreams and dream symbols to be very rich, deep, and fulfilling work, and I absolutely the feeling of seeing my clients have a breakthrough where they realize that their dreams have been communicating with them for years. I have also used this myself in a few cases. I used to have a recurring nightmare where I was running in circles around a ramshackle old shanty that was (supposed to be) our house. My mother and sisters were on the porch, and as I ran around in circles, I realized that whatever was chasing me had killed someone else each time I came around to the front, until I was the only one left. At that point, I could feel whatever was chasing me catching up, and I usually woke up at the point where I was just about to be grabbed, completely drenched in sweat and feeling terrorized. Long before I was a psychologist and had heard about image rehearsal therapy, I figured out that if I faced whatever was chasing me and fought back, I would be safe. And so every time I had the dream, I would mentally take myself through facing that unknown presence and do something like set a fire between me and it or put an ocean between us and reassure myself that I was safe. Now, it wasn't exactly image rehearsal therapy, because I wasn't consciously doing it before the dream, but it worked nonetheless.
I still have dreams where I am trying to escape storms, either at sea or tornadoes. I grew up in Tornado Alley, so the tornado dreams make sense, and water is a personal symbol of mine that I know represents my emotions. In working with these dreams, I practice several similar processes. For the storm dreams, I realized that the storm represented stress and feeling out of control for me, so I would visualize running down into a safe, underground area, where I would wrap myself in blankets and pillows, and ride out the storms. I would then visualize emerging safe from the storm. For the water dreams, because water represents emotions for me, I realized that a "storm" meant intense, uncomfortable emotions, so I would visualize myself in a boat, or with my husband (my rock and best friend) reaching shore safety. With my feet on the ground (literally grounding myself in the dream), I would tell myself that I was safe and I could get through the storm. That o ne took a little more practice, but over time, it also worked.
Dream symbols are another fascinating aspect of working with dreams. Our conscious brains tend to be very analytical and logical, but in our sleep, our subconscious is not limited by what's real or logical. Dreams thus tend to be highly symbolic, and may mean more than just the immediate, surface-level content. Good ol' Freud got a lot of things wrong, but he created the idea of dream analysis. Freud believed that there were universal symbols that reflected life forces (what he called the libido) and psychosexual conflicts. For example, houses represented the self, purses represented the uterus, and anything long, hard or thin represented the phallus (which is where we get "phallic symbol" from). If you look at or purchase a dream dictionary, chances are at least some of the meanings are drawn from Freud's work; these works are based on the idea of universal symbols. However, we've since learned that culture, experience, and personality affect how we create symbols and meaning. For that reason, I tend to believe that a more individualized interpretation is more appropriate. When I work with dreams in therapy, I first ask the client what they think things mean. We then collaborate on possible meanings of different aspects, and I absolutely respect what my clients come up with. After all, I'm not living their life and I haven't had their experiences. And, as Freud famously said once, "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
So how do you figure out what your dreams mean? First, spend some time writing down what you remember of your dreams. Make note of things that tend to reoccur, especially objects, because chances are that those objects symbolize something for you. Write in the present tense, as if you were experiencing it now, as that tends to help you stay in the emotion and context, and write down as much as you remember of the dream, as soon as you are able. If you feel comfortable keeping a pad of paper or journal by your bed, do so, but don't force yourself, Keep track not just of the content, but also of any emotions, associations, or unusual elements. Our brains are amazing in processing material and creating connections between things that don't seem related, and many times those associations and connections show up in our dreams. Start thinking about what the objects, people, places, colors, and other facets mean, and write down those ideas. Even if it turns out that you change your mind or the meaning seems to shift, you'll be on your way to a greater appreciation of the power of your own mind and of your life.
Please Note: The content on this blog is intended for informational purposes only. This is not therapy, and if you wish to work in therapy, please contact your local mental health agency or your physician for a referral.
If you are in crisis or danger, please call 911 for 988 or immediate help. Please, again, realize that seeking out help really IS a sign of strength and not a sign of weakness. You don’t have to be alone in facing these things – there are people who care and who will help. Email me at: thepowerofeachother@outlook.com if you want to set up an appointment.
I still have dreams where I am trying to escape storms, either at sea or tornadoes. I grew up in Tornado Alley, so the tornado dreams make sense, and water is a personal symbol of mine that I know represents my emotions. In working with these dreams, I practice several similar processes. For the storm dreams, I realized that the storm represented stress and feeling out of control for me, so I would visualize running down into a safe, underground area, where I would wrap myself in blankets and pillows, and ride out the storms. I would then visualize emerging safe from the storm. For the water dreams, because water represents emotions for me, I realized that a "storm" meant intense, uncomfortable emotions, so I would visualize myself in a boat, or with my husband (my rock and best friend) reaching shore safety. With my feet on the ground (literally grounding myself in the dream), I would tell myself that I was safe and I could get through the storm. That o ne took a little more practice, but over time, it also worked.
Dream symbols are another fascinating aspect of working with dreams. Our conscious brains tend to be very analytical and logical, but in our sleep, our subconscious is not limited by what's real or logical. Dreams thus tend to be highly symbolic, and may mean more than just the immediate, surface-level content. Good ol' Freud got a lot of things wrong, but he created the idea of dream analysis. Freud believed that there were universal symbols that reflected life forces (what he called the libido) and psychosexual conflicts. For example, houses represented the self, purses represented the uterus, and anything long, hard or thin represented the phallus (which is where we get "phallic symbol" from). If you look at or purchase a dream dictionary, chances are at least some of the meanings are drawn from Freud's work; these works are based on the idea of universal symbols. However, we've since learned that culture, experience, and personality affect how we create symbols and meaning. For that reason, I tend to believe that a more individualized interpretation is more appropriate. When I work with dreams in therapy, I first ask the client what they think things mean. We then collaborate on possible meanings of different aspects, and I absolutely respect what my clients come up with. After all, I'm not living their life and I haven't had their experiences. And, as Freud famously said once, "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
So how do you figure out what your dreams mean? First, spend some time writing down what you remember of your dreams. Make note of things that tend to reoccur, especially objects, because chances are that those objects symbolize something for you. Write in the present tense, as if you were experiencing it now, as that tends to help you stay in the emotion and context, and write down as much as you remember of the dream, as soon as you are able. If you feel comfortable keeping a pad of paper or journal by your bed, do so, but don't force yourself, Keep track not just of the content, but also of any emotions, associations, or unusual elements. Our brains are amazing in processing material and creating connections between things that don't seem related, and many times those associations and connections show up in our dreams. Start thinking about what the objects, people, places, colors, and other facets mean, and write down those ideas. Even if it turns out that you change your mind or the meaning seems to shift, you'll be on your way to a greater appreciation of the power of your own mind and of your life.
Please Note: The content on this blog is intended for informational purposes only. This is not therapy, and if you wish to work in therapy, please contact your local mental health agency or your physician for a referral.
If you are in crisis or danger, please call 911 for 988 or immediate help. Please, again, realize that seeking out help really IS a sign of strength and not a sign of weakness. You don’t have to be alone in facing these things – there are people who care and who will help. Email me at: thepowerofeachother@outlook.com if you want to set up an appointment.
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